I heard so much that I plan to comment on here today. Everything seemed to relate to the in's and outs of a relationship or the (mis)relation of males and females.
So yeah I'm at work today and one of my co-workers is telling me how her best friend is always tagging along with her and her baby's father because she doesn't have a man of her own. She went on to say how she decided to hook her up with a friend of her's that she thought her friend would be attracted to. He had the both of them meet up at my co-workers house before they went out; when he got there and laid eyes on her best friend (who happens to be black) he told them that he was sorry and had to go!?
Hmmm I thought - why would he do that, he was all game for the date from what she said. When my co-worker pulled him aside and asked him why he was trying to leave so quickly he said "I don't mess with black girls". With him being black himself she was so clueless as to why he'd say such a thing.
My Response to This: I'm so tired of people in general putting a cap on the people they will date. I mean honestly, you can't help yourself when you're attracted to someone. This guy actually told my co-worker that he would sleep with a black woman but he wouldn't get serious with them (his exact words form what she said). To me attraction is something that you can't control whether the person is purple with one arm and 5 strands of hair off of their head. Limiting yourself is something people do on their own. It has nothing to do with bad experiences or anything else. There's always the debate about why so many black men date white woman and it's been said to me more than a few times that it's because black woman are too hard to deal with, too opinionated, too strong, and too independent. Last time I checked those weren't bad qualities?! Check me if I'm wrong fellas. I would never limit myself although I have my preferences if I'm feeling a guy it really doesn't matter much to me if he's Chinese and purple. If I feel him I feel him.
Feel me?
So then yeah my lunch break roles around and I pick up Essence Magazine (with Beyonce gracing the cover) and took a look at the table of contents. ...
32 pages of the best dresses ...
12 gorgeous & easy hairstyles ...
dare to live your dreams ...
sexercise. Among those I see something that catches my eye that reads
The Guys-Only Getaway Black Men Don't Want You to Know About. You know I'm turning to that first lol. The article is about Rio (Brazil) and how it's the number one sex-tourism industry. I started reading the article after being intrigued by the title's caption of what black men don't want me to know lol.
"Of course cheap sex with women in Third World countries has long been considered a perk for men of the industrialized word." WTH Im thinking to myself, and still thinking for that matter. Why in the world would you desire to screw (let's be real and call it what it is) some prostitute from a third world contry? What makes that so different from some chick you picked up on the corner?
There was actually 2 very recent incidents, one in which 28 black men and 40 prostitutes were caught on a "boat ride" after forgetting to pay off some important authorities and the other where 40 black men of a high end social club were caught doing the same. In case you were wondering prostitution in Brazil is legal as long as the participants are over the age of 18. The author of the artical explains that he felt like he was in a music video surrounded by woman in the club, on the streets, everywhere.
"these girls made you feel like a million dollars. They stroke the hell out of your ego. I have a 20-years-old who cooks and cleans for me and treats me like a god. I don't get that in America."...
"
These woman are willing to look after and take care of their men in a way that Black women in America stopped doing after they got sucessful."
WOW - lets stop here for a minute. A (male) friend just said that this is true. I disagree. I do agree with the fact that America gives females more freedoms and more leeway than any other country in the world and so us females might be more focused on making things happen for ourselves rather than focusing so much on a man m
BUT in other countries the men are the rulers and the dominators and what they say ultimately goes. If you were ruled by a man I bet you'd treat them well too. If we think about back in the day in America things were the same way here now as they are presently in other countries. So really I'm not trying to here that lol. I know there are plenty women in America that treat their men like Kings!
The next article I jumped into head first was one called Relationship Rescue. I love knowing other people have problems and it's not just me lol. This issues topic was about a couple that had been together 22 years (WOW) and to keep their relationship alive and interesting they invite other people into their bedroom escapades. The question was, could a menage a trois actually ruin their relationship.
Situation: 43 year old Lisa and 46 year old Darryl makde it a habit of introducing new faces into their bedrooms to keep the relationship spicy until Darryl became threatened by a new bed mate *****, that he felt Lisa was becoming too attached to. Darryl says "
Lisa spends more time with ***** than with me, and that hurts. Now when ***** spends the night, I sleep in the spare bedroom." And Lisa says "
It's not the first time that I've been attracted to other women, but it wasn't about sex this time. I have real feelings for *****."
Now I can't get on him because it's not like the introduction of new people into their lives was all his idea because she had a mutual part in it as well. I def'ly agree with the experts opinion in which she says for Lisa to stop having sex with both her husband and ***** until she knows what she really wants. I would have never began the things they are into now in the first place for the very same issue they're dealing with now. There's no way in hell I'm going to let some other woman come in MY bedroom and end up watching my husband/boyfriend/significant other chase after them all because of a fantasy that he or I had. There is too much risk of someone liking something too much or someone catching feelings - especially if that "extra" person comes around more than once.
Forget that.
Damn ... Lunch break is over.
After work I headed to Borders to get Zanes latest release since I was a day late on purchasing it. The book is called Carmel Flava for all you who want to read a long with me. I'm sure I'll zip through that real quick because all of her books are major page turners and I can never put them down. Next two books I'm reading will be Candy Licker by Noire and Diary of a Mistress which is a new release by author Miasha. If anyone else plans on reading any of these books let me know so we can discuss. Speaking of new releases John Legend is comming out with a new album - can't wait for that. His debuet was amazing and his voice and those talented fingers of his are something to listen to. The album is called Once Again and is due out October 3rd of this year.
I never got a real chance to tell you all about my weekend. For the most part everything was great. I had some special moments this past weekend and I'm not going to lie I haven't smiled so much in a while.
My jaws still hurt. I went to see my future puppies again, went to the movies for the first time in a looong time, got to go to Channel Side again, hmmm.
Let's just say this - I'm a very lucky gal!
And one last tid bit on relationships ... and if this involves you you'll know - I will tell you this one more time, I AM the best you'll ever have, don't hate me 'cause you let me go. You've given me another reason to know how much I should be in love with myself. You showed me more things I do want in a man and some things I hate in a man and I would never in a million years regret a thing. I take this as a lesson learned and there is no bad blood on my side. You'll always have a friend in me reguardless to whether or not you plan on to stay in touch or whatever the case may be.
...Oh and you're wrong - there are people who love me and I
WILL be perfect for someone.
Thank you!
Well I know I gave yall more than a little something to read but I had a lot to talk about today lol. I'll give yall a break for a few hours **hehe**
♥ Mystique
